Super Pollo, North Arlington

(See the Mar 22, 2011 Review here.)

Last night, I had a bunch of errands to do, involving mapping out an optimal driving route to get them all done. So I did them, and afterwards, it was growing late, and I was hungry – I had some options to exercise, but given that it was Monday night (Pupatella is closed on Mondays), I was driving down Wilson Blvd. in North Arlington, and Super Pollo was *right* *there*, I decided to take the cumin plunge.

“Knock, knock.”


Or, in *this* case, *Don’t* cumin, because I got some of the meanest, surliest treatment I’ve had from a carryout restaurant in quite a long time. I’m sorry I interrupted your soccer game, guys (Real Madrid was playing on TV), but *come* *on* – it’s a completely empty restaurant, you’re standing around doing nothing, and a paying customer walks through the door, recognizing within five seconds that it was a mistake.

The scent of cumin knocks you over here – it’s happened every time I’ve been to this location – and it almost draws customers to the chickens sitting out on the left. But I overcame my senses, and walked to the right, seeing what was in the steam bins.

A sign on the front door advertised Lamb Chops with 2 Sides ($14.99), and that’s what I ordered. The “gentleman” looked right at me and said, “We don’t have any lamb chops.” Okay, fine. And even though I knew at this point I was unwanted, I took my sweet time and looked for awhile, and then decided on the tried-and-true: Super Pollo’s chicken – I ordered a Half Chicken with 2 Sides ($9.99), and decided to get a double-order of yucca.

There were two bins full of yucca. One of them looked like it was cooked a week ago, and had been sitting out, festering; the other looked brand-spanking new. Guess which of the two I got? For both orders.

So was this a classic case of “clear out the older merchandise?” or was it “let’s fuck this chump?”

It doesn’t matter – I’m no mind-reader, and other than noticing visible, “get the hell out of here” scowls, I don’t pretend to know what’s going on inside someone’s head, or if they’re just having a bad day, their girlfriend broke up with them, etc. etc. So I’ll only report on the product itself, and this was the *worst yucca I’ve ever had in my life*. Old, dry, unevenly cooked, hard, cold – it would be virtually impossible to make a fully cooked yucca dish *worse* than this was. It was horrible, and the majority of it was thrown out.

If I’d been there with a friend, I would have gotten into my car, turned towards my friend, and said, “That douche bag needs to pull the pole out from his ass,” but I wasn’t, and since this is a public, family-oriented website, I won’t mention it; instead, I’ll merely say that the service on this was evening was “surly,” and I felt that my business was neither appreciated nor wanted. Incidentally, I threw a dollar into the empty tip jar. Why? Because I’m a spineless idiot, that’s why.

I got two yellow sauces and a green sauce, and the chicken was as it always is here (this Super Pollo puts out a consistent Pollo a la Brasa – not great, rubbed with too much cumin, and always sitting out – but it is, nevertheless, a *good* chicken, one which I’ve now had several times).

Super Pollo Arlington serves Halal meat only, and offers items such as Karahi, and in that sense (among others) it reminds me very much of Ravi Kabob, except that Ravi Kabob has food that’s light years better. This is, in order, Peruvian, Pakistani, and American.

What a needlessly unpleasant experience this was. And that yucca should have been dumped out on the back patio for the crows to eat. It would have gotten rid of the crows.

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